i was born a porn star she said
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
