im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
