A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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