don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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