$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
