just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
