I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Dignity is for republicans.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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