Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
