his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
she looked like the before picture.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
