you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
