trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
