Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
