Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
