Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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