Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
