dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
