I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
