Whatcha textin bout Willis?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
