he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
