He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize