i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
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