There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
