she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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