you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
