Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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