Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
