I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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