Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
