Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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