So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
