glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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