discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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