It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
