how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
