i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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