He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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