Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
