Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
