She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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