dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
