fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I would ride that face into the sunset
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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