Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
