You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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