Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
How naked do you want me to be?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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