he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
