I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize