More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
this boner is exhausting
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
