Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
