I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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