Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
