Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
