He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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