sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
