omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
