I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
