Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize