Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
