I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
So much Jack, so little girl.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
