My room smells like vodka and shame
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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