no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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