what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
