I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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