So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I still have a little drunk in my system
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
