My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Houston, we have a squirter
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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