It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Randomize
