it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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