I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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