She said her name was "party"
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
