dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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